Thursday, October 27, 2016

Dream Building


Back in 2012, our church purchased playground equipment. This was a large tower that had two slides coming out of it, a couple of poles to slide down, and monkey bars kids could pretend they were swinging over hot lava or snapping alligators. Four or five of us gathered on a Saturday to assemble this monstrosity. There were so many boards and bolts. It looked like a task that would take considerable time. As we started it didn't resemble what the box showed in any way. But the more we put those boards and bolts together, they began to resemble what we were striving to create. We didn't finish on that day and the kids would have to wait a little longer to enjoy it, but it eventually was completed.




I've experienced something of the sort this last week. I've been tirelessly clicking away on my keyboard in an effort to convey my thoughts to paper, well a monitor screen in this case. I have made excellent progress on The Five Barred Gate, the novel that I am writing. I completed two chapters yesterday and a little bit on one today. I didn't write much because I spent much of my time today building a website for Moments for the Heart. Just like those boards and bolts came together to form a wonderland for the children of our church to expend their energy on, today's website building put a few together within my dream building. Moments for the Heart Check it out!!

One other thing that put a slide on the side of my funhouse was that Carolyn helped out using her amazing talent of painting. If you have never seen one of her paintings, you are missing out. I had a picture in my mind of what I envisioned the cover to look like. The story behind the term in the title and someone searching for answers came together in one still photo in my mind. I quickly sketched it onto paper and sent it to Carolyn. She is somewhat unconfident in her ability, but I assured her she could do it. Well last night when she came home, she studied a little on how to do it. Then I could see the excitement in her eyes and she grabbed a blank canvas and her paints and went to work. This was the result, along with a little editing to only put up title:

Amazing isn't it!! It's coming together. God is blessing me with words and flow that I haven't felt before. I have a goal of completing this by the end of the year. I ask for your prayers for me to stay committed to this calling. It's pretty easy right now because the passion for writing is blazing within me. I thank you again to all of those who have commented and supported me. I look forward to the day that I can get this work out to the public.

In case you were wondering, no I have yet to hear about my short story that I submitted a few weeks ago. I'll be sure to post something the moment I receive news about it. God is soo good!! Go, my friends, chase your dreams. If God is for you, who can be against you?

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

And the Adventure Continues...

I want to thank everyone who took the time to read my last blog. I know it was a tad long, but it was necessary to explain what I am attempting to do with my life. The likes and comments were encouraging. Please continue to do so. If you have anything to say, feel free to leave comments. I love to read your replies to this blog. Especially if it challenges you and you begin a journey yourself. Heck, tell me I'm insane if you'd like. Good or bad, I'm open to any feedback you have.

As for this week, It's been pretty full. Several articles were written, submitted and accepted. I've submitted 8 poems the last couple of days. I still have yet to hear back about my short story, but the guidelines stated that it could take a couple of months. Its only been two weeks. Yes, I am impatient. I guess its more excitement at the possibilities than impatience... Aw, who am I kidding, I'm impatient.

What I am having a tough time with is figuring out how to manage my time. While I have two, sometimes three days off in a week, at least one of those days I spend getting things done around the house that I can't do during the work week. So when I do write, I have been just going with the flow. Doing what I feel like doing, or what attracts my attention that day. Yesterday I spent the day organizing the writing from my past. Some   were the poems I submitted. Today I looked at the different publishing sites that accept poems and submitted more. Those will take a few weeks to a few months to hear back. So I again, wait.

During this time I covet your prayers. I need prayer for direction. Not only with managing my time, but with what the next step is. I feel I am making progress, but now that the groundwork has been laid, I'm finding myself a little overwhelmed. I want to do so much, that I don't know where to begin. I focus on one thing, like the poem submission, but I didn't touch anything else? Then I feel like I didn't do anything that day. I suppose I need prayer that what I do accomplish, that I find it gratifying. And be satisfied with that.

God is good!! He has spoken to me about several things this past week. He has shown me some things about myself that I forgot existed. Things that I nearly let die. If you don't use the gifts you have, they will be taken from you. I'm grateful that it wasn't taken from me. I am making a conscience effort to not let that fire die out again. Writing is part of who I am. I cannot let that voice be silenced again. And you reading this and being encouraged by it AND paying it forward are what it's all about.

Thank you again for joining me on this journey. See, as promised, this entry was not that long. God Bless and see you next week!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

A new chapter in my life

You may be thinking, "Uh oh, here he goes again. Saying that this time he will commit to writing, and then disappears for a year." Well, 3 years in this case. But, I am honestly making a return. Certain events in my life have steered me in this direction. I can't avoid this calling any longer.

First, I ask that you please bear with me. I know this post may be lengthy, but what your about to read is background of what I'm doing now, so you can understand the incredible journey I'm about to undertake. A journey that begins with this blog, a platform that has already been established, to hopefully gain an audience and further my pursuit of a career in writing.
 
About six or seven months ago a friend of mine expressed his desire to write. As most of you know, I have always had that desire. He challenged me to get back into it. We both read a book titled, Success is Not An Accident by Thomas Newberry. This book changed me. It evolved how I looked at my writing career as well as my personal life. The book is essentially about goal setting. It helps you determine what you want out of life and how to get there. Newberry does all of this with a Christian theme and putting God first in all that you do.

At the end of each chapter Newberry extends a challenge. Setting goals, writing a Mission Statement for my life and continuous evaluation were some of them. I followed along every step. I chose the goals that were most important in my life and narrowed them down to 5 main goals. One of which is to be a full time writer. I want to, by the end of the decade, retire from the oilfield and driving a truck to be completely supported by a writing career. I know God has given me a passion to write as well as a gift of delivery. I want to use that gift to affect lives for Christ.

Before I continue, I'd like to explain what I mean by 'what I'm about to undertake'. I plan to take you on my journey.  I feel that my experiences can help you develop a passion you may have. I want to challenge you to set goals and to do whatever it takes to accomplish the dreams you have for yourself. My plan is to use this blog to do just that. I will talk about what I am going through. The highs as well as the lows of what I write, how its going, the submission process, and other aspects of this journey to become a known author.

I have a lot of support. From the man who began with the challenge, to a fellow writer who is my accountability partner, to friends who continue to push me toward that goal of moving beyond a Freelance Writer to a full fledged Author. The biggest, and most important support is from Carolyn. She gets the behind the scenes view of the struggles I go through when a paragraph isn't working or I just cant find the right words. And I'll be honest, some of the words I come up with are hers. So I must put a footnote in every piece I write that some of it comes from her. She is my life partner and my true inspiration in keeping me going in my endeavor.

Over the last six months I've developed some of the things I have written. I think I have told you that I journal. (Journaling is a guys way of saying he writes in a diary...plain and simple..its a diary) I have written in a journal since I was in Junior High School. I was given a small diary with Bart Simpson on the cover. I wrote that day about a trip I was about to take to Disneyland.  I would write in it practically every day. Once it was full, I moved on to different journals. About 90 percent of my Jr. High and High school years are recorded. I still have every journal I've ever written.

Lately I have been writing in an app I have on my phone. I make an attempt to write everyday. I journal in the morning and also at the end of the day using a technique I learned in the book I referenced earlier. It helps me to reflect on how I felt my day went, what I could have done differently and how I will change for tomorrow. All in effort to accomplishing the final goal of furthering my writing career.

I don't remember if I have written here about my dreams. I have dreams. Extremely vivid dreams. Details and colors (yes, we do dream in color) and feelings. I began to journal my dreams last year. It wasn't until recently that I began to use those dreams to create stories. While in most cases the entire dream wont become a story, some aspect of it will. This birthed 'Waiting'. My first short story. It is based off a dream I had about 25 years ago. I never wrote it down, but its impact on my life forever stuck with me. I have been working on it for several months now. Writing and revising, sending it to an editor friend for her to work on and then me revising it. I finally reached a point to were it is completed. Last week I submitted it to a literary magazine for publication. I wont find out if they accept it for another month or so, but it's submitted. Accepted or not I will learn from the experience.
 
Finally, I hope you will feel challenged by my blogs. My desire is that you will get excited and want to pursue your dreams and embark on a personal journey of your own. Let me know about them, we can celebrate together. Meanwhile, I will write and blog to gain experience, and as accountability to keep on pressing toward the goal Christ has called me heavenward to....sorry Paul, I don't mean to plagiarize, but your Christ inspired words are apropos to my situation.

Thank you for your patience. I do not plan for future blogs to be as long as this one, but I had to lay down the ground work so you can understand where I am coming from. If you are still reading this, I pray it is a blessing to you and I hope to hear your thoughts in the comment section of each blog I am to post. I don't promise to write every day. That would be crazy. But well see how it goes. Perhaps a weekly entry.

God Bless!!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Just a few thoughts....

The last couple of months I have been really getting serious about my walk with Christ. I read more, pray more and yes, write more. Writing is a gift God has given me and I have not used it to the best of my ability. With that I am ashamed. Those of you who have read my blog before have seen me say that I am going to write more, but yet I dont. I intend to turn that around. Trying to refine that ability, I am keeping a journal of what I read and learn about that day. God always speaks to me in those devotional times. Sometimes He speaks to me more in what He reveals during my journaling time, than He does the actual devotion. Here are a few of those God given inpirations I have had during my devotional and journal times.....

 


--How many times do we inhibit God working in our situation by trying to force our agenda of how we want Him to work in our situation?

--One of the reasons its hard to forgive ourselves regarding the sin that we have committed is because we can still see it. Now, sin is in darkness and wants to stay in darkness. God is in light and will always remain in light. God casts out darkness just as light dispels darkness. So the closer we get to God, who is in the light, the less we see darkness. The less we see the darkness, the less we focus on the sin we were once in. And the guilt and unforgiveness of self will fade away.

--All in all God does work all things out for the good. If we are devoted to Him, He can turn any mistake into a lesson learned. All we need to do is call on Jesus and be obedient when He answers. Our obedience is key to His working. If we ignore it, then all that is left is either self pity or rationalization. Both are dangerous paths. One leads to worthlessness and the other to destructive habits. Obedience is the only path that will lead to true healing and a sense of worth. Then God can work in our lives for the good and make us whole again.

--God never said that we do not have to go through the situation. David had to face Goliath. God did not protected him from the situation. He protected him through the situation.

--God is the key to every marriage. If He is at the center and both of you are focused on that, then it will be one that will last a lifetime!! Evan a temporary loss of focus can be brought back. If the foundation is there, anything can be rebuilt.

--Remember, feelings are fleeting. Emotions run dry and then we feel empty, wondering if love was ever there in the first place. Human love is fragile. Only the love of God is perfect and never failing. Only that kind of love will get through those tough times. Only God can give you the love you need to love your spouse wholeheartedly. Trusting Him to provide love, when loves feeling is not there, is true understanding of unconditional love.

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Ballad of Daniel Bray

taken from: "Patriotic Poems of New Jersey,"
compiled by W. C. Armstrong, 1906

 

Background:

Daniel Bray was a captain in the Second regiment of the Hunterdon
county militia. He was born at Baptisttown, Hunterdon county,
N. J., October 12, 1751, and died at Kingwood, in the same county,
December 5, 1809.

Washington abandoned Jersey in the early part of December,
1776, the last man of the rear-guard under Lord Stirling reaching the
Pennsylvania shore on December 8th, about midnight. To prevent the
passage of the British, all boats had been removed from the Jersey shore; but Washington soon had far deeper plans in mind; he wished a little fleet of boats collected so that he and his army might recross the river at will.

Accordingly he summoned Captain Bray and directed him to
gather secretly all the river-craft that could be found on the Delaware
from Phillipsburg downward.

Associated with Capt. Bray in this undertaking were Capt. Jacob
Gearhart and Adj. Thomas Johnes; these three met at Baptisttown, about three miles inland, to make their plans and engage the assistance of others. They worked at night disguised as hunters; and no easy task it was to find the boats hidden away in creeks by their owners, to cut them out of the ice and to keep them from being swamped in the rapids while taking them down the icy current in the darkness.

Capt. Bray and his companions worked at this for ten nights and
succeeded in collecting about twenty-five craft, including fourteen Dur
ham boats, four scows and several rafts for the transportation of cannon; all these they hid behind Malta, a heavily-wooded island opposite Lambertville.

Thus were the boats gathered for Washington s famous crossing.

 

 

 

THE BALLAD OF DANIEL BRAY


December, 1776. 



The Delaware, with stately sweep,

Flows seaward as when armies fought:
But they who struck for freedom sleep

Beneath the soil their valor bought.
At Rosemont, inland, Daniel Bray,

In lonely grave, with rest hard won,
Waits for his country s voice to say:

"He brought the boats to Washington."

At Trenton lay the Hessian host,

Pluming their pride with gay parade;
They thought the freeman s cause was lost

And hoped his last brave stand was made;
But safe on Pennsylvania s shore,

The master patriot aimed the blow
Which thenceforth in the nation s lore

Would mark oppression s overthrow.

To Captain Bray on Kingwood height

A horseman sped by field and brake,
Till on his door, at dead of night,

He knocked, and bade the soldier wake s
A hasty mount, a quick farewell,

And then miles down the frozen track,
Like musket shots the hoof-beats fell,

While Mary slept and dreamed him back.

Down Stony Batter Hill they sped,

Across Duck s Flat; then up the slopes
To Rittenhouse (where sleep the dead)

Their coursers climbed with steadier lopes ;
The ten-mile creek is left behind,

Gilboa s slant is swiftly run;
At Coryell s the inn they find,

And waiting them, great Washington.

That hour Bray heard his general say:

"Seize all the boats from Easton down,
And guard them safe, by night and day,
Until we cross to take the town."


The echoes of a noble voice

Hied with him from that meeting place,
Praise made the soldier s heart rejoice,

And spurred his zeal to quicker pace

Ere gray dawn paled o er Hunterdon,

He ranged a circuit twelve miles wide,
For brave Gearheart of Flemington,

And Johnes of Amwell countryside.
To foil the Tory s cunningness,

With squads in hunter s garb uncouth,
They pierced the Jersey wilderness,

From Ringoes to the Lehigh s mouth.

Then downward on the broader stream,

They drove by night their project bold,
With but the planet s wintry gleam

To cheer them in the bitter cold.
December s slashing wind cut keen

O er ice-cakes massed with frosty grip;
And longside, in the dusky sheen,

They watched the chill black waters slip.

Beneath the river s gloomy banks,

And where the friendly ferry plied,
They seized the craft with scanty thanks,

And launched them on the swirling tide:
Through eddies deep, and rapids swift,

They guided sure their precious fleet;
Minding the rock and treacherous rift,

And creeks where angry currents meet.

No hostile shot disturbed the verge,

Where ghostly woods loomed drear and dark
No voice, except the hound s sad dirge,

Or, far away, the wolf s gruff bark;
But sometimes cross the distant slope,

A farmhouse shed its candle ray,
And warmed the wand rer s heart with hope

Of fireside joys and freedom s day.

The river s speech is low and weird,

It bears no tales of deeds long past ;

But Bray, ere morning light appeared,
His boats by Malta Isle made fast;


And on that famous Christmas night,
They bore the heroes o er the tide,

Who broke the spell of Britain s might,
And flung the Hessian mob aside.

The Delaware shall ever flow

Through sacred soil, forever free.

And every free-born child shall know
The tale of Trenton s victory:

And till the stars shall cease to shed
Their light o er hilly Hunterdon,

Of Daniel Bray it shall be said:

"He brought the boats to Washington."


Thursday, March 29, 2012

Gods Hand of Provision

I honestly do not know where to begin, or where I am going with this particular blog. I just feel the need to write, so I write. I always intend to do more writing, but time never seems to be there. I also know that a person will do what is important to them and will make time for things they hold priority in life. I guess that means that writing has not been much of a priority lately. Recently I have had an abundance of time, but didnt want to write too soon that my emotions of the moment would spill out without thought. A month has passed and now I feel more in control in what I want to say.

Last month I lost my job with Frac Tech. To be perfectly honest it was no ones fault but mine. I am relatively new at driving, but I guess the incident was avoidable. I was driving an empty flat bed back to the yard. Once I got to the yard it was a confusing mess, as usual. There is quite a bit of construction going on and vehicles are all over the yard. Parked in places they are not normally. The regular place I would make a left at was blocked. So I went to another area. When I went to make my turn I noticed a pickup with a couple of guys standing by it talking. I guess I focused on them to much because I did not follow my tail through the turn. I looked to see if it was clear, but when I saw that truck my focus went to them. Just in case the truck did not see me and swung out in front of me. So focusing on that made me lose attention to my follow through. I clipped a Frac Pump that was parked. It did not do much damage at all, just bent the housing for the tail light. The light still worked, it just needed to be bent back. They did not see it as a small incident. Three hours later I was terminated.

The flat bed was not the only incident though. Two weeks before I accepted the blame for a fork lift mishap that happened on location. That with this recent incident led to my dismissal. I thought I was doing good by telling them to put the blame solely on me and away from the two spotters that I had. My spotters were there to prevent me from having any mishaps. But we all missed it. I was behind the wheel, so I felt a little more responsible. They wanted to suspend all three of us. I asked to go easy on them and to only suspend me. And they did. Little did I know that it probably led to my dismissal rather than a stiffer suspension.

The thing that upset me was that I was a model employee. In the year that I worked there I was never late. I only called out sick once when I had severe bronchitis. Whatever they asked, I did. Whatever hours they needed me to work, I did. I never complained openly to anyone. It hurt that I was just kicked to the curb. I did appeal their decision, but even the higher-ups decided the original decision would stand.

The one thing, through this all, I have not lost is my trust in God. I know he has a reason for me leaving Frac Tech. He has a reason for me being out of work this last month. He has another job out there for me. I have complete faith in that. I have complete faith that He will provide my family's needs. And He has. I was given opportunity to work helping friends out. Whether it was installing insulation or running a dump truck, God provided enough money to meet our needs. (and a little angel that left an envelope on our car a few weeks ago at church...THANK YOU who ever you were). That with the little bit of savings we had helped us make it through the month..... I also have to say that tithing has been a big part of our faith. No matter if I was paid $200 or $2000, 10% of it went back to God. After all, He is the one who provided us with the work in the first place. I believe that more than anything is what has allowed the little money that we have had to be stretched so far.

A couple of days ago, I spent another day filling out applications. I went by a place that I have passed dozens of times and never really thought of stopping. That day I did. I filled out an app and was pretty much hired on the spot (pending the usual drug test and pre employment physical). I should start some time next week. The job sill still be somewhat in the oil field, but just a little more on the driving end. Which is what I need to get over this little incident. While it was not an accident that goes on my record, I am thinking that other employers are frowning on it. I needed a break. For someone to give me shot and look past the mishaps.

I know the thing that has gotten me through all of this is my faith in God. Without him I would not have handled the situation the way I have. I would not have the peace that I have. We woulnt have had the money to make it through. I wouldnt have the supportive wife who helped keep my head in it when things seemed overwhelming. Together we went through this. When I would get discouraged, she would be there to help me, and me her. God has us together for that reason. She is my soul mate. The person God made for me. And God has always provided exactly what we needed. It was in his timing, not ours.

So no matter how dark it looks. No matter what obstacle you face. As long as you hold tight to your faith in God and His provision, your needs will be met. Remember, the word I am using here is 'need'. Not 'want'. Carolyn and I WANT to get a new car. We WANT to start the process of buying our house. Those wants are not met. They are simply that 'wants'. And if one focuses on what they want, then they will always be disappointed. Talk to God. Remember that He will be there when no one else is. His hand will provide what you need when all seems lost. I pray that our recent experience will help you and show you evidence of Gods provision.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Where the Frac has Jeff been?

Well its been over 9 months since my last post. A lot has happened recently. I'm sure that most of you know this by now, I no longer work for Wal-Mart. I now work for an oil field company called Frac Tech. Man does this job keep me busy. My lack of any real FB activity reflects that. I don't have time to sleep much less post on here. I am on my weekend off and wanted to take a moment to update my friends on whats been going on.

Back in February after another pass over on entering the Management program at Wal-Mart I began searching for something else. I had heard about the oil field boom in the area and decided to go check one of the local companies. I was pretty much hired on the spot, as they were hiring anyone who could breathe. I had to go through two background checks, two physicals, and whats called a "stress test". The background checks and physicals went fine. The stress test however had me....well...stressed. It turned out to be fairly simple. It was a series of physical activities and they monitor your heart rate. The big thing that had me worried was that you had to dead lift 120lbs. I wasn't sure if I could do it. I was able to do it. It took some effort, but I got it done. And in March I was officially hired on as an Equipment Operator.

During the interview I thought I was going to be hired on as a Hot Shot Driver. At least that is what I was told, but they were only hiring current CDL carriers as drivers. The gentleman who was interviewing laid it on the line. "Being an EO is hard work, long hours (80-100 hours a week), and not many can do it". I almost walked away. Almost. He did not explain the details of the job, and I see now why. If he had...I probably would've walked. I thought I should give it a shot so I went through the hiring process, was hired, and was sent to Orientation. After that class in Aledo, TX I was sent to the field.

My schedule is 7/2 7/2 7/3. (days on/off) The three is always Fri, Sat, Sun. That is what I am on now. My weekend off. Those 7 days I am away from home. They put us up in a hotel in Laredo. We move around the area to different well sites. Weve had locations in Catarina, Encinal, Crystal City, Valley Wells, and Tilden,  For the closer jobs, like Tilden, We come home every night. Right now our location is in Artesia Wells.

My day usually begins around 2am. Lobby time. We make a store stop to get breakfast, snacks and ice for the coolers of water. We are on location usually by 4-430am. Turn on equipment and are Frac-ing by 530. Each frac runs about an hour and a half. Separated by a process called Wire Line, which takes about an hour. We do about 4 a day. Usually leave location from 6-7pm and at hotel by 9. Shower, eat dinner and go to bed around 10pm. Then sleep for three and a half hours only to wake up and do it all over again. This process can be interrupted by any number of issues: more than two pumps going down (we use 18 pumps for frac-ing), Wire Line misfire, or other equipment failure. This happens quite a bit. I cant tell you how many times we've gotten back to hotel at 10pm and had a 2am lobby time. I am averaging between 90 - 105 hours a week.

Frac-ing is the process of preparing a pre drilled well for extraction. Injecting the well with sand and chemicals and then using a charge to fracture the walls of the well to release the deposits. There are many positions involved. Lineboss, Blender Tender, Hydration, Chemicals, Sand King/ Dual Belt Operators and Greasers. I started off as a Greaser. Which means I filled reservoirs on each pump with grease and maintained them. I did that for two months. Then I moved over to a Dual Belt operator. The Dual Belt is a conveyor belt that takes the sand from the Sand King to the Blenders. After learning that I moved to a Sand King operator, which is where I am now. Greasing was pretty easy. I liked working the Dual Belt. The Sand King is pretty simple. Requires a lot of head work, but easy. The hardest part of it is strapping. (looking in container and determining how much is left). I am still learning to strap, other than that I have got the hang of it.

All in all the job is fairly simple. Like the interviewer said, long hours, but most of the hours are spent waiting. During a Frac job, there is only really six hours of work. Unless you are helping to fix a pump, lining out chemicals, or cleaning up site during the Wire Line. If nothing needs done, then we cab up and sleep or eat. That is one thing I learned with this job. You sleep when you can and you eat when you can. They have no issue with us taking naps. But if we are rigging up or rigging down, the work is constant. The worst part of the job....well then there is the heat.

The weather plays a big part in how much we get done. Not necessarily we stop work, quite the opposite. We work no matter how hot it is or how wet it gets. Day before yesterday we had rain, and some of you may have seen my post "Frac-ing in the rain." The only thing that could stop us would be lightning. Or perhaps a very heavy rain. The heat is the worst. When its 95 in Pleasanton its easily 10 degrees warmer where we are at. Then you factor in the humidity and it becomes almost unbearable. I drink 10-12 bottled waters a day, 2 Powerades, and one or two electrolyte drinks. You don't hydrate, it can mess you up.

In addition to the weather the process can hurt. We work with over 9000 pounds of pressure. If an iron line ruptures the sand that is being pushed though can do some lethal damage. Many dangers loom. Slips, Trips, and Falls are dangers in themselves. One fall almost critically injured one of my crew members. He fell off the back of a pump and deeply cut his thigh. 2 inches from his femoral artery. 2 inches and he would not have made it to the hospital. Another guy lost the tip of his finger when two pieces of iron pinched it. Dangerous stuff. I've never prayed so much for safety.

This job is a like/hate type of job. There are days when I just want to give up and go home, others I can tolerate it, and almost like it. What keeps me going is the goals Carolyn and I laid out: Get out of debt, start the process to buy our house, get a new car, and start saving for college for the kids. Ive learned that this job is not forever. If you don't have a plan getting in, you wont make it. Nearly every guy on my crew has a plan on what they do with their pay. My goals get me out of bed in the morning.

After three months in this job I have grown almost used to it. Which is what I was told when I started. "Give it three months and you'll be used to it". There were days when I wanted to quit so bad that I almost gave up. In fact I think I did give up a time or two. Then I heard a song by Matthew West. "Strong Enough" gets me through my weak days. Philippians 4:13 has always been a staple in my life. No matter what the odds I can get through it with Gods help. When Matthew West came out with that song it reminded me of that. I first heard that song on KLOVE on my way to Praise Wave..where in fact Matthew West was performing that night. He sang that song and it made me cry. ...."Maybe that's the point, to reach the point of giving up. Cause when I'm finally at rock bottom, that's when I start looking up, and reaching out". I was trying to do this job on my own strength. Now I remind myself that it is God who gives me the endurance I need to make it.

I don't know how long I will be doing this. Two years is my target. I would like to eventually learn all the positions. I know I do NOT want to be a Supervisor. I see their job and responsibilities...I don't want them. To much of a headache and to little pay. (they are salary). I thank God for this opportunity. Its a weird, yet good, feeling not to live paycheck to paycheck anymore. And Carolyn gets to stay home with the kids. She has gotten used to the idea of being a stay at home mom. Shes good at it!! Keep us in your prayers. Its not easy me being a way a week at a time. I miss my family. God has us here for a reason. I know he will get us through it. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. And I know I don't have to be strong enough for the both God and myself.