Sometimes, Everytime

Sometimes I feel strong,
young and vibrant, alive in this world.

Sometimes I feel old,
sure that I've gone as far as i could go.



Sometimes I feel like Paul,
strong and focused on Gods will for me.

Sometimes I feel like the Rich Old Man,
feeling the task before me is just too great.



Sometimes I feel like David,
seeking Gods very own heart.

Then sometimes I feel like the Foolish Man,
trying to accomplish things on my own.



Sometimes I feel like Stephen,
knowing why I face dark situations.

And sometimes I feel like Moses,
wondering why God chose me in the first place.



Sometimes my spirit is in conflict,
between what I do, and what should be done.



Sometimes I feel like screaming,
but what good would that do?

Sometimes I feel like rejoicing,
for the joy he's brought to my life.



Why am I so torn,
between what is good and what is wrong?



It is hard to stay hot in the cold times,
its not easy to stay hot amidst the confusion.
and being lukewarm is out,
that only brings Gods wrath.



Everytime I get all mixed up,
I have a place to turn.



Every time I face defeat,
the Victor comes and saves me.



Everytime I seek him,
He will deliver me!



Everytime he will show me,
that I can overcome the sometimes.



He is everything,
not just sometimes,
but everytime.


Everything,
Everytime.



(C)1995 Jeff Bray

Its been awhile....

I guess its time to write an update. Its has been insanely busy here since the birth of Audrey Elizabeth Bray back on September 06 of last year. Well she is seven months now. As you can see from her pics on my profile she growing fast and getting cuter by the minute. And as Ive told countless people, I never thought I could so in love with a baby. Oh and yes, she is a redhead. Amazing I know. Its the Irish in my family.

Its amazing to be the father of a daughter. This is a completely different feeling than when Carolyn had the boys. With the boys I felt proud. With Audrey its different. My heart felt strong and proud with the boys....Audrey melts it, nearly every day. She is always finding something new to do, or learn that gives me the "Awwwww"s.

This week I taught her how to clap. I can be, like I am now, on the computer and shell be playing with her toys behind me, and all of the sudden I hear, 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'....its the cutest thing. Or shell start talking with her coo's and da-da's. That with her smile, or reaching to be picked up..oh man. Im a puddle each time. The only true way to understand it is to be a father to a daughter. The feeling cannot be expressed in words.

As for the boys, they are growing like weeds. Matt is now 9 and Chris turned 6 in January. They just love their little sister. Matthew especially. He is always aroud her, and she adores her big brother. She wants him to carry her around. They have a tounge stick out game they play...its so cute.

On a final note, we are done. No more little rugrats for us. Four is the limit, and of course, its now offical. The baby factory is closed. God is awesome for the blessing of four wonderful children. Its amazing to see each o them grow and mature. Its a long road and we have to do it all four times.
With the last being different than the other three. God help the young men that may come to my door in fifteen or so years to call on my litte girl.